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Blue...
Saturday, August 28, 2004

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Captain's Log Stardate -319657.09

I'm really not feeling good for the past several months. Siguro nga depressed nako. Hindi ko lang alam pero baka sa loob ng utak ko ganon na nga talaga. I tried to diagnosed myself with the symptoms of depression. So far, lahat ng naka highlight ay meron ako.


  • You feel miserable and sad.
  • You feel exhausted a lot of the time with no energy .
  • You feel as if even the smallest tasks are sometimes impossible.
  • You seldom enjoy the things that you used to enjoy-you may be off sex or food or may 'comfort eat' to excess.
  • You feel very anxious sometimes.
  • You don't want to see people or are scared to be left alone. Social activity may feel hard or impossible.
  • You find it difficult to think clearly.
  • You feel like a failure and/or feel guilty a lot of the time.
  • You feel a burden to others.
  • You sometimes feel that life isn't worth living.
  • You can see no future. There is a loss of hope. You feel all you've ever done is make mistakes and that's all that you ever will do.
  • You feel irritable or angry more than usual.
  • You feel you have no confidence.
  • You spend a lot of time thinking about what has gone wrong, what will go wrong or what is wrong about yourself as a person.
  • You may also feel guilty sometimes about being critical of others (or even thinking critically about them).
  • You feel that life is unfair.
  • You have difficulty sleeping or wake up very early in the morning and can't sleep again.
  • You seem to dream all night long and sometimes have disturbing dreams.
  • You feel that life has/is 'passing you by.'
  • You may have physical aches and pains which appear to have no physical cause, such as back pain.
14 out of 18. Not bad eh?

Bakit ganon. Yung taong nilalabasan ko lang ng mga sungit ko, hindi pa ako maintindihan. Siguro nga walang gustong umintindi sakin.

Most of the time, nginingitian at dinadaan ko sa tawa ang mga bagay. One thing na natutunan ko nung grade 6 ako is na kung may problema ka, wag mong dalin sa school or sa work. So kapag nasa school ako and kasama ko sila Karlo, tawa na lang ako. Pag may activity sa org, active ako. Ginagawa ko na lang busy sarili ko sa ibang bagay. Tutal nag-aaral ako ng mga useless and worthless subjects na hindi naman kailangan sa field pero pinapahirapan pa ng mga teachers.

Mahina lang talaga siguro ako para tanggapin lahat ng nangyayari sa paligid. I'm afraid of change. Sa loob ko, hindi ko siguro tanggap pa na may binagsak akong subject ngayon college. Sa dinami dami ng subject, Trigonometry pa. Subject na may pinakamataas akong grade nung highschool -- 97% Then pagdating ng college -- 5.0

Madaling sabihin na huwag ko ng isipin to. Pero sabi nyo lang yun. Mahirap.


*Computer end log*


Posted by Jepoy @ 8/28/2004 11:46:00 AM
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