Jepoy's 2007 Predictions
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Captain's Log Stardate -317997.2
Here I am again, Jepoy Teh Oracle, to predict what will happen for the year 2007. As some of you don't know, I've already made my first batch of prediction for 2006. Here's some flashback:
For the year 2006, there will be earthquakes, typhoons, big waves, volcanic eruptions, and other obvious natural calamities. Popular politicians and celebrities will die. A plane will crash and a boat will sink so group yourselves into... err... anyway, pirated DVDs will continue to proliferate, your neighbors will continue to annoy you, and a lot more...
If you want a more detailed prediction, please buy my newest magazine, the 2006 Predictions. Or if you've already bought a 2005 Prediction magazine, just change the year to 2006 and you'll be fine...
- Earthquakes? Check.
- Typhoons? Check.
- Big waves? Check.
- Volcanic Eruptions? Check.
- Other Natural Calamities? Check.
- Politicians and Celebrities dead? Check.
- Plane Crash? Check.
- Sunken Boats? Check.
- Pirated DVDs? OH HELL YEAH!
- Annoying Neighbors? Check.
Damn I'm gooood. Now, change the year I made to those predictions from 2006 to 2007 and lemme add some more for the year 2007:
Happy New Year!
- Since it will be election season, there will be election related violence and massive cheating.
- More Filipino idiots will be online, and would be jumping into international message boards showing how stupid they aer, dragging us with them.
- GMA-7 will continue to feed its viewers with rip-off shows and telenovelas. No, the rip-off won't stop at Captain Barbell.
- Metro Manila's air, water, land pollution will continue to rise. Blame stupid Filipinos who whine and whine night and day.
- Speaking of whiners, these whiners will be the major driving force for the establishment of a new sector. -- Pro-Rallying. Yes, if 2006 was the year for pro-bloggers, 2007 will be the year for pro-rallyists. Give them P100 and they'll rally wherever, whenever you want!
- Politicians will get richer and richer while the poor will become poorer and poorer.
- And the poorest of the poor will contribute largely to the continued growth of our population due to the fact that they have way tooo much time on their hands for their favorite pastime *bleeep* We should consider to export these whiners as human slaves to other countries. We'll definitely earn a lot since our country will have less useless whiners around.
- Video scandals on phones will continue to increase and the quality will improve with the introduction of newer and better camera phones.
- More Filipino artist will confess that they are ghey.
- Filipino priests will continue to interfere with politics and claim to fight for the poor, while ignoring the beggars loitering around their churches.
- PLDT will never ran out of ideas to squeeze moolah from its subscribers. They might even charge you for every "ring" your phone makes.
- Enteng Kabisote would make another comeback on December 25th 2007 for Enteng Kabisote 4 and Hero Angeles will be celebrating Christmas 2007 with a bowl of champorado.
*Computer end log*
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